


Time Now To Be The Future

by torakowalski



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Time Travel, Yuletide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-25
Updated: 2008-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-02 22:44:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torakowalski/pseuds/torakowalski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Merlin and Arthur tackle monsters, Time and mythical beings. Written for the_antichris for Yuletide 2008.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Now To Be The Future

**Author's Note:**

> A note on the warning: the selected 'Choose Not To Use Warnings' relates to mention of character death which the author feels does not warrant a full 'character death' warning. Feel free to ask if you need clarification.

They were running late.

Well, Arthur was running late but obviously he'd found some way to blame Merlin. He was also somehow finding the breath to berate Merlin while racing him across the courtyard to reach training before Arthur's knights applied the ten minute rule and went home.

Merlin was understandably distracted, which was why he ran into someone.

"Hey!" said the someone, sounding offended. "Careful."

"Sorry," Merlin said, gasping in a breath and preparing to continue his run, sure Arthur must be far ahead of him by now.

Except Arthur wasn't. Arthur was standing next to Merlin and blinking at the girl who Merlin had run into.

"Please excuse my servant," Arthur said, bowing low. "He's very clumsy and has a near-permanent home in the stocks."

Merlin rolled his eyes. The girl he'd run into was young and dark and pretty.

Merlin watched her lips quirk in amusement before she nodded solemnly. "I understand. He should count himself lucky; I've known some kingdoms where servants are executed for much less." She winked at Merlin and he felt his face heat up.

"Um," Merlin said but she was already gathering her cloaks around herself and turning to sweep away.

"If you'll excuse me, gentlemen," she said and started on her way.

Merlin looked at Arthur. Arthur was already looking at him. "Wait," Arthur called as Merlin knew he would. "Let us escort you."

She slowed down enough to allow them to catch up. Well, Arthur caught up, Merlin trailed behind feeling sulky. He had _thought_ they were going to be late. "No thank you," she said, "I'm fine."

Merlin bit his lip; Arthur didn't get turned down often. "But surely you're new here," Arthur wheedled. "It wouldn't do for you to get lost."

The girl stopped. She swept her long hair back under her hood and regarded them both levelly. "Can you fight a dragon?" she asked.

"What?" Merlin asked. "Yes," Arthur said. Merlin gave Arthur an incredulous look which Arthur ignored.

"How about a Cyclops?" the girl asked.

"Definitely," Arthur agreed.

"Minotaur?"

"Um," Arthur looked at Merlin. Merlin shrugged; he didn't know what one was either. "Yes," Arthur said, apparently making a royal decision.

The girl sighed. "Then you'd better come with me."

Merlin watched her stalk off, not totally sure he wanted to fight whatever it was that the girl wanted fought. Arthur tapped him - read: punched him hard - on the arm to get him moving after her.

***

The girl - Verdandi, she told them her name was - led them out of the castle, down several back passages that Merlin had been unaware of, and on and on until they reached a dense, dimly lit wooded area.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Merlin asked, hoping she'd say no, she was wrong; they should actually be heading for a nice warm beach in Hispania.

Verdandi just flicked an eyebrow at him and didn't reply. She hitched up her cloak and began to climb a sharply rising incline.

"Where are we heading?" Arthur called after her. He wasn't breathing any harder than normal so Merlin was careful to keep his own breathlessness quiet.

"There's a cave up here," Verdandi called back. "There's something in it; I don't know what."

"And we can't just leave it there?" Merlin asked. Arthur glared at him.

"It has something that belongs to me," Verdandi said. "Aha, here we are."

When Merlin caught up with her and Arthur, he saw that they were standing at the mouth of a cave. It was - as with the mouths of all the caves Merlin had ever seen - dark and dank and scary-looking.

"So," Arthur asked, shifting from one foot to the other, hand on the hilt of his sword. "Is this where the dragon is?"

"Or the Cyclops or the Minotaur," Verdandi agreed. "I didn't get a very good look. But it has something that belongs to me and I need to get it back." Her hands went to the front laces of her cloak, untying it. "Are you going to help me?"

"Of course-," Arthur said or started to say. Then made a sound like he was dying. Merlin turned from him to see that Verdandi's cloak had dropped to the ground to reveal that she was wearing tight, black leather trousers and a loose white shirt.

"Look at her clothes," Arthur hissed in Merlin's ear, "It's obscene." Merlin thought back to the way Arthur had looked at Gwen and Morgana when they'd worn men's clothing to fight - different in every way from the amused, platonically curious way he normally watched them - and wisely kept quiet.

***

The monster wasn't a Minotaur or a Cyclops or a dragon. Merlin wasn't sure what it was, but it had three heads - two of which spat fire while the other spat ice, four tails, all with spikes - and it hurt like hell when it threw him against the cave wall.

"Get down!" Verdandi yelled from behind him and Merlin ducked, covering his head just before a bolt of blue lightning shot from something in her hand - a stone, Merlin saw, one that had been on a chain around her neck a moment ago - and hit the monster in one of its faces.

The monster reared back, two remaining mouths open wide and screaming, while the stump of the third neck thrashed wildly.

"What's that?" Arthur panted, "Is that magic?"

"Sort of," Verdandi said, grinning.

Merlin turned to stare at her. He'd never heard anyone be so blasé about having magic before.

"Merlin," Arthur shouted. "Stop staring and-." He broke off when one of the monster's tails hit the wall above his head. Little pieces of rock rained down on Arthur and there was blood smeared down his cheeks when he lowered his arms.

Merlin's hands itched with the need to go over to him, but Arthur was a big boy; he could take care of himself. Merlin however, was having a bit more trouble as he was suddenly face-to-hideous-gaping-maw with one of the monster's heads.

"Uh," he said, "Hi," and punched it in the nose.

Absently, he heard Arthur laugh but he was too busy running for his life to give Arthur the attention - or the finger - he deserved.

"Hey," he heard Verdandi's voice and then the flames licking at his heels were gone, which was great. He risked a glance over his shoulder and saw her distracting it with more of the blue lightning.

"Are you all right?" Arthur asked, pulling Merlin down against the wall beside him.

"Fine," Merlin said. "Little bit of a heart attack but nothing serious."

Arthur smirked at him. "A bit of adrenaline is good for you."

"What about a _lot_ of adrenaline," Merlin asked.

Arthur rolled his eyes, drawing Merlin's attention to the long smear of still damp blood bisecting his eyebrow and coming perilously close to the thin skin of his eyelid.

Merlin found his fingers pressing against the flushed skin surrounding the cut before he could stop them. Arthur's skin was warm and, this close to his temple, Merlin could just feel his pulse beating.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked. The background sounds of the monster seemed to have faded.

Merlin cleared his throat. "This one was close," he said haltingly. "To your, uh, eye."

"Yeah." Arthur nodded, but not enough to dislodge Merlin's fingers.

"Excuse me!" Verdandi's voice filtered through Merlin's sudden preoccupation with the texture of sweaty skin. "If you've finished whatever it is you're doing, this thing is trying to eat me."

Merlin met Arthur's wide eyes with his own and then they were both moving, circling to get behind the monster. It had Verdandi cornered. It only had one head left but that one seemed pretty close to tearing out her throat.

"Hey!" Arthur snapped at it, lunging forward sword first. He missed. Apparently he pissed the monster off though because it drew back on its hind legs, lifting off the ground so it could go after Arthur with all four tails at once.

"Woah," Arthur said, backing up a step and then another until he collided with the wall. "Did we know it could do that?"

"I didn't," Merlin said helplessly.

One tail swung, heading straight for Arthur's face. Arthur lifted his sword, neatly severing the spike from the rest of the tail but the second and third were coming for him now, too quickly for him to turn and defend himself.

Merlin was too far away to do anything, even if he'd been able to think of anything _to_ do. He had no choice, there was nothing he could do except- He raised his hand, no time to think of any incantation just pictured the monster _not_ killing Arthur.

There was a bright flash of white light, so strong that Merlin automatically closed his eyes. Merlin heard a terrible screaming sound, a startled shout from Arthur and then a huge thump as something - hopefully the monster - hit the ground hard.

_Ha!_ Merlin thought, but it was a hollow victory.

When Merlin opened his eyes, he saw the monster lying dead at his feet, Verdandi hurrying across the cave presumably to recover whatever it had taken from her and Arthur… Arthur was standing carefully, one hand clamped to a deep cut across his shoulder but his eyes fixed on nothing but Merlin.

"Okay," Arthur said slowly, so slowly that Merlin had time to wince over each syllable. "_That_ was magic."

Merlin wanted to close his eyes again. Maybe if he couldn't see Arthur, Arthur wouldn't be able to see him and he'd conveniently forget the whole magic thing.

Right.

"Yeah," Merlin said. "It was."

Arthur pressed a hand to his face. "Fuck, Merlin," he said flatly.

Merlin shifted, feeling helpless and having no idea what to say. There wasn't really anything he _could_ say. He should have had something prepared for this eventuality, he thought grimly; he'd just let himself hope that it wouldn't ever happen.

"Is everything all right?" Verdandi's voice made Merlin jump and he saw Arthur do the same; apparently they'd both forgotten they had company.

Arthur rounded on him. "You didn't see any of this," he snapped. "You didn't see anything."

Merlin did his best to quell the irrational urge to smile. Arthur was protecting him; he couldn't be that angry. Hopefully.

Verdandi shrugged. "What was there to see?" she asked ingeniously, like she saw servants kill monsters with their minds all the time. She was wrapping a bracelet made of intertwined threads of what looked like silk around her wrist.

"Thank you," Arthur said crisply. All the charm and curiosity he'd been showing towards her earlier was gone. "Do you have what you came for?"

Verdandi blinked at him slowly. "Yes," she said. "Thank you."

"Excellent," Arthur said and caught Merlin's wrist in a tight, relentless grip. "We'll bid you good day then. Merlin, with me."

Merlin looked back at Verdandi helplessly before letting himself be dragged out of the cave and back into the forest.

***

Arthur stopped eventually, wheeling back around to glare at Merlin. "That was magic," he repeated.

Merlin nodded miserably. "Yes, sire."

"You can do magic."

Merlin looked down at the grass around his feet, feeling slightly sick. "Yes, sire." Merlin didn't think he'd ever used _sire_ without making it sound a least a little mocking before.

"Are you stupid?"

Merlin's head snapped up. "What?"

"No, no stupid question. Of _course_ you're stupid." Arthur pushed his fringe out of his eyes and glared. "What were you thinking? Did you think I could protect you? I can't protect you."

"No," Merlin said, confused. "I didn't-. I'm not asking you to-." His hands were shaking. He didn't want to be executed and he didn't want Arthur to be looking at him with those hurt, angry eyes. In fact, he couldn't be sure which one of those he wanted least.

Arthur fell quiet; something about his baring told Merlin not to interrupt.

"You're going to have to leave," Arthur told him eventually, looking and sounding about as miserable as Merlin felt. Merlin's was a cold sort of misery though; Arthur's looked hot and furious.

"What?" Merlin asked. "Aren't you going to have me executed?"

Arthur shook his head, but it was more like he hadn't heard than he was saying no. "I can't protect you and I won't go against my father but if you leave I won't have to know about anything you may or may not do."

"What?" Merlin said, unbelieving. Not sure if he was relieved that Arthur didn't want him dead or upset that Arthur wanted to send him away. Upset was starting to win out.

Arthur's hand clamped down on Merlin's arm and for a minute Merlin thought he was about to be killed after all, but Arthur just squeezed his arm and said again, more urgently, "You have to _go_."

Merlin nodded, swallowing hard. He fought down the childish urge to say _but I don't want to_. "I'll leave in the morning," he promised. He didn't know what he was going to tell Gaius. Well, he did. He wouldn't need to worry about any potential executions; Gaius was going to kill him.

Arthur nodded once, firmly. "Very well," he said and turned on his heel, continuing his angry march back home. He didn't speak to Merlin again until just before they reached the gates of Camelot.

"Merlin," he said quietly. His voice sounded wretched and Merlin hated being the reason for that.

Merlin looked up. He sucked in a helpless breath at the look of complete… what?... complete hopelessness on Arthur's face. "I'm sorry," Merlin said immediately. He meant it this time and he'd never apologised for his magic before.

"I thought," Arthur said then broke off, rubbing his hand over his face. "Weren't we friends?"

"Of course we were," Merlin said, words coming out harsh in his desperation.

"I thought we were-." Arthur didn't finish his sentence but his gaze stayed locked on Merlin's lips for one beat then another.

Merlin closed his eyes. He hated this. This was so unfair. "Arthur, _please_. Look, you could just forget this happened and the king would never need to know and-."

"What?" Arthur scoffed. His was looking at some distant point over Merlin's shoulder now. "Are you going to wave your wand and make me forget?" His face twisted up into something ugly for a second before it went back to the empty expression Merlin couldn't stand to see. "My God, you're not are you?"

Merlin bit back a million angry retorts, finally able to grit out a "No".

"Okay," Arthur said and nodded. His hand twitched at his side like he wanted to reach for Merlin. Merlin held still but Arthur didn't touch him. "Okay," Arthur said again. "Goodbye, Merlin."

Merlin watched him walk through the gates to the castle and couldn't say a word.

***

Merlin felt awful. He remembered the time Will had dared him to drink a barrel of apple cider that had been sitting in the sun for five days; his belly had hurt less after that than it did now.

The sky was just beginning to grow blue-grey, the sun coming up on the morning - the morning that Merlin had promised he would leave Arthur and Camelot and Gaius and everything else that he'd come to lo- like.

He swallowed hard and rubbed at his eyes with the back of his wrists.

"I'm sorry," said a voice and Merlin jumped, scraping his fringe down to hide his eyes and looking up to see Verdandi standing above him.

"What do you want?" Merlin asked. It wasn't her fault, but Merlin needed someone to blame.

"I didn't mean to cause you problems," she said, smoothing her cloak down and sitting on the stoop beside Merlin.

"It's okay," he told her honestly, "It wasn't your fault."

Merlin watched out of the corner of his eye as Verdandi played with the complicated silk bracelet that they'd helped her to rescue. "I can help," she told him eventually.

"How?" Merlin asked, telling himself not to hope. There was no way she could really help him.

She leant forward, eyes shining. "I can give you your day back," she said softly. "If you want."

Merlin blinked at her. That was a level of magic he didn't even know how to access. "Are you serious?" he asked uncertainly. "I'm not sure-."

"This isn't a trick," she said, smiling softly. "You helped me, so I'll help you. I can send you back to the start of yesterday, just before you met me. All you have to do is make sure Arthur isn't with you when you meet me this time then he won't need to see you doing magic."

Merlin opened his mouth to argue. This was too good to be true; it must be.

"Okay?" she asked. "Yes."

He shook his head. "I'm not sure." One part of his brain was screaming at him to get sure. If she was telling the truth, then he could fix this mess. "How?"

She shrugged. "I have a little influence with time," she said.

Merlin frowned and rubbed at a building pain between his eyes. "It's really possible?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded. "You have to promise to still meet me tomorrow in the courtyard. Retrieving my bracelet was harder than I expected; I will still need your help."

Merlin nodded. He didn't realise that he was agreeing to her plan until she smiled.

"Give me your hand," Verdandi said and reached for him, guiding his fingers to her bracelet. Merlin gasped; the power was immense. It bit at his fingertips, spiralled up his arms and seemed to pull him in.

"I'm not sure about this," he opened his mouth to say, but between one syllable and the next he was spinning, flying, landing on his own bed, the sun shining in his window and Gaius banging on his door, telling him he was going to be late.

"Shit," Merlin swore and rolled out of bed.

Merlin looked down at himself. He was wearing the clothes he usually slept in; his shirt and trousers were folded over the end of his bed.

"This is mad," he said aloud to himself. He went to the window and looked out; Camelot looked the same as always but it _could_ be yesterday again. There was nothing to tell him that it wasn't. He wished he could say that the birds' singing was familiar but Merlin didn't really pay much attention to nature first thing in the morning.

"Merlin," Gaius called.

"Coming," Merlin yelled back. He pulled off his shirt to get dressed and realised that his bruises were gone. He'd been stiff and aching after the fight yesterday, bruises and scrapes across his torso and hands but now his skin was clear.

"Mad," he repeated and started to smile. He finished getting dressed and clattered down the steps to Gaius workroom.

"You're late," Gaius said again. Helpfully.

***

Arthur was standing in the middle of his chambers, holding his chainmail in one hand and frowning. "I think I see some rust," he said when Merlin skidded through the door.

It was the same thing he'd said yesterday. Well not yesterday. Today version one. Even if it hadn't been, Merlin knew there wasn't any rust.

Yesterday, he hadn't bothered to take a proper look, secure in his chain-mail cleaning abilities; today he was so relieved that Arthur was talking to him without that horrible, betrayed look on his face that he found himself actually stepping up for a closer look.

"I don't see any rust," he said.

"Hmm," Arthur hummed, sounding unconvinced. "Anyway," he held the armour up to Merlin. "Help me dress; you're late."

"Um," Merlin said, automatically taking the armour then casting around for a diversion. He needed to get downstairs to help Verdandi and he needed to do it without Arthur. "I'm not late."

"Yes," Arthur said slowly. "You are." He held out his arms. "Dress me."

Merlin put on his cockiest expression. "Can't you dress yourself?"

Arthur frowned. "What's got into you?" he asked, "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine, I just. I just-."

Arthur was frowning really hard now. "Yes?" he asked, his tone the sort of innocent curiosity that Merlin knew meant trouble.

"Put on your own armour," Merlin said then backed up a couple of steps, crossing his fingers behind his back, hoping that when Arthur put him in the stocks this time, there wouldn't be any rotten tomatoes. Those were always the hardest to wash out of his shirt.

Arthur advanced on him. "Insubordination will not be tolerated, Merlin," he said. His expression was serious but his eyes were twinkling the way they did when he was enjoying an argument. Merlin sucked in a breath.

_Oh well_, he though, _I started it_. He tipped up his chin. If he could just annoy Arthur enough, Arthur would send him away and Merlin would be free to find Verdandi.

Except. Except Arthur wasn't sending him away. He was advancing on Merlin still further and Merlin had no where to go.

"Are you sure you're feeling all right?" Arthur asked but there was something totally different in his tone now.

Merlin swallowed hard and forced himself to nod.

"Sometimes you drive me crazy just for the fun of it, don't you?" Arthur asked.

It was true, but Merlin still shook his head. Arthur stilled him with a hand against his throat. It wasn't squeezing, he wasn't threatening in any way, just holding Merlin still.

Merlin swallowed again and felt his adam's apple contract against Arthur's hand.

"Don't you?" Arthur breathed, the word a warm puff over Merlin's mouth.

Merlin nodded. He was just lifting his chin again, watching Arthur closely from under his eyelashes when Arthur leant in closer. Merlin saw the flicker of doubt, the flash of want and then Arthur's mouth was on Merlin's.

Merlin gasped; he couldn't help it.

Arthur stood back immediately. "Sorry," he said, sounding less sure of himself than he had a moment before.

"No that's uh." Merlin briefly pushed all thoughts of Verdandi out of his head and curled his hands around Arthur's wrists. "What was that?"

Arthur's mouth tipped up and he chewed briefly on his lower lip. "That was a, uh. A momentary weakness?"

Merlin pulled on Arthur's arms until Arthur took the final step, closing off any gap between their bodies.

"Do it again," he said and Arthur did.

Arthur kissed him and Merlin's head reeled. This was fast. They'd been heading towards this forever but Merlin hadn't thought they'd ever _get_ here. Princes didn't tend to kiss Merlin, however much they - he - sometimes looked like they wanted to.

An hour ago, Merlin had been preparing to leave Arthur forever and now he had Arthur's broad hands on his face and throat, Arthur's tongue in his mouth and Arthur's hair under his fingers. He pulled on Arthur's hair a little, unconsciously testing that he was real.

"Ow," Arthur said but didn't stop kissing Merlin's jaw.

Merlin tipped his head back. The sun was rising in the sky; Verdandi would be on her way to fight the monster by now; Merlin really should go to her. "Don't stop," Merlin said.

Arthur's smile curled against Merlin's chin. "Do I seem like I'm stopping?" he asked and squeezed Merlin's arse. Merlin made a noise that was somewhat not unlike a squeak.

It would be so easy just to stay here, kissing Arthur, maybe doing more if Arthur's wandering hands were anything to go by, but Merlin couldn't.

"Stay here," he mumbled against Arthur's mouth and forced himself to take a step back.

"Wait, what?" Arthur asked, hands still firmly on Merlin. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere." Merlin kissed him again. He couldn't stop. It wasn't as if he hadn't known he wanted to do this but just how _much_ was kind of a surprise. "I'm coming back, I promise. Just stay here."

Arthur had his most mutinous frown on but he didn't stop Merlin from leaving; Merlin felt a wave of guilt that Arthur trusted him when Merlin was basically betraying that trust, leaving him behind so he could use his magic without Arthur finding out.

Merlin took a deep breath, pushed aside his guilt and hurried on.

***

Verdandi wasn't in the courtyard but he hadn't expected her still to be. Kissing Arthur apparently took a lot of time.

Merlin ran along the way they'd gone yesterday- _last time_ and finally caught sight of her cloak swishing behind her through the trees near the mouth of the cave. Merlin steeled himself to run faster.

"Wait?" he gasped, catching the back of Verdandi's cloak just before she entered the cave. "I'm here."

She swung around. "Yes you are," she agreed. "Who are you?" And oh, wait, of course she didn't know who he was; she hadn't met him yet. Somehow he'd been expecting her to remember him.

"Merlin," he said, trying to exude as non-threatening and harmless an air as possible. "My name's Merlin. A uh, a friend sent me to help you?"

"I don't have any friends here," she said, just as coolly but Merlin saw her hand begin to move towards her scary, lightning-producing necklace.

"Okay fine," Merlin said, losing patience. He'd stopped kissing Arthur to come and help her. "You sent me. From the future." That sounded pretty cool to say.

Verdandi's stance shifted. "Prove it," she said.

"You uh." Merlin frowned. "You've lost a weird kind of bracelet that lets you send people through time," he said hopefully.

"Hmm," she hummed. She turned back towards the cave. "Well? Are you coming?"

Merlin seemed to be doing a lot of double-taking lately. He did it some more because it seemed like the thing to do. "…sure?" he said and followed her into the cave.

***

Defeating the monster was actually easier without Arthur there - although Merlin would be careful never to tell Arthur that. Not having Arthur there meant that Merlin didn't have to hesitate about using his magic and between his magic and Verdandi's blue lightning it wasn't long at all until the monster was very, very dead.

Merlin was a little bit heroic, even if he did say so himself.

***

"Well," Verdandi said, leaning back against the cave wall. She had monster guts in her hair; _that_ hadn't happened last time. "That was exhilarating." She raised her eyebrows at Merlin. "So what went wrong last time?"

Merlin was pretty certain he had monster guts in his _mouth_ so he was legitimately distracted when he asked, "What?"

"If I sent you back in time then something must have gone wrong the first time. What was it? Did you die?"

"Oh," Merlin said, "It was nothing." _My best friend learnt something that made him hate me so you were nice enough to move time and space for me_ sounded a bit pathetic really.

"Okay," she said, shrugging. "Well be ready for whenever they take your day in payment."

_Wait what_? "Wait, what?" Merlin asked. "Who's taking my day? Taking it where?"

Verdandi frowned at him. "Surely I don't need to explain this; you're a sorcerer."

"Um," Merlin said, feeling his cheeks heat up. "I'm not a very, uh. I don't read a lot of books?"

"No," she hummed, "I suppose you're hardly Dumbledore." ("What?" Merlin asked again, but she waved him quiet.) "Okay, it works like this. Time was nice enough to give you back one day of your life. For payment, it will need to take another. You can't just create time out of nothing, you know."

"So what, I'll just wake up one day and find it's the day after?" That really didn't sound like a good idea. What if he did something really embarrassing on the day he didn't remember?

"Exactly," she agreed, inclining her head. "I'm sure you won't miss it." Then she tapped her bracelet and disappeared.

"But it's _my _day," Merlin argued to thin air.

***

"I didn't think you were coming back," was the first thing Arthur said when Merlin let himself back into Arthur's rooms.

Merlin slipped the bolt across the door and turned to see Arthur sitting at the table, watching Merlin coolly over the top of his goblet. "I said I would," Merlin said, aware that his palms were suddenly sweaty under Arthur's level gaze. Arthur had never made him nervous before; time travel couldn't be good for him.

Arthur stood up and rounded the table. "I didn't think you were coming back," Arthur repeated. He sounded almost uncertain.

"I had to go and be a hero," Merlin said, feeling his mouth tug up into a grin. He'd done it; he'd saved the day: Arthur didn't know about Merlin's magic, Merlin didn't have to leave Camelot and all Merlin had to worry about was this little matter of a lost day at some point in the future. How bad could that be?

"How did _that_ go?" Arthur asked, eyebrows raised doubtfully. He stepped up to Merlin, not quite touching. "Where were we?"

He sounded cocky, sure of himself and Merlin would have been forced to give him a hard time over that if he hadn't seen the soft, relieved look on Arthur's face when Merlin had first walked back into the room.

Arthur's hands curled around Merlin's shoulders but Merlin shook his head. "Not there," Merlin said. "More like here." He took Arthur's hands, guiding them down to his arse and Arthur grinned at him before moving in for a kiss.

***

It turned out that sleeping with the crown prince of Camelot wasn't that dissimilar to merely working for him.

Merlin still tidied Arthur's rooms, carried his messages, and brought him food. Only now, when Merlin had finished putting away the ridiculous number of near-identical brown boots that Arthur owned, Arthur would catch his hand and pull him down onto the bed (or the table or the floor or, on one memorable occasion, the window seat with the drapes only half-drawn) and they'd lose an hour or two in each other.

"You're smiling a lot lately," Gwen told him one morning at the water pump.

"I'm not," Merlin said automatically. He put down his bucket and felt the corners of his mouth; they were pointing up. "Am I?"

"Did you get a girlfriend?" she asked. She looked over her shoulder and flashed him a smile. "Or a boyfriend?"

"No," Merlin said automatically. It wasn't a lie exactly. Arthur wasn't Merlin's _boyfriend_.

"No of course not," Gwen said quickly. "I wasn't trying to imply that you-. That you might." Her cheeks went red.

Merlin laughed. Yeah, okay, maybe he _was_ smiling a lot. "I'm just happy," he said, smiling at her. She smiled back.

***

It happened nearly a month later.

Merlin woke up in his own bed like every morning. For once, he didn't remember Arthur shaking him awake at some ungodly hour before the sun came up and ordering him back to his own rooms before the castle servants were awake but Merlin had sleep-walked back to his own room before this.

Merlin rolled out of bed, pulled on his clothes and walked down the stairs humming softly under his breath. The sun was shining and Merlin was still in an embarrassingly good mood.

Gaius's head snapped up when Merlin clattered to the bottom of the stairs and he half-rose from his chair.

Merlin opened his mouth to say good morning and broke off short at the sight of Gaius's grey-pale face and tired, red-rimmed eyes.

"Gaius?" Merlin asked. "What is it? What's wrong?" Nothing had been wrong when Merlin fell asleep last night; he and Arthur had been planning to go for a ride some time today.

Gaius stood straight and came around the table, reaching out for him. "How are you feeling?" he asked, squeezing Merlin's arm in a gesture of much greater affection than Merlin was used to.

"Um," Merlin said. "Fine? Are you all right? You look terrible."

Gaius passed a hand over his face. "I confess I didn't sleep well." His lip twisted. "I can't imagine you did either."

"No," Merlin said, sure he was missing something. "I slept okay." He yawned right on the end of the word and suddenly realised that he did feel tired. Strange. He pointed towards the door, reassured that whatever craziness was going on, Gaius himself was all right. "See you later."

"Where are you going?" Gaius called, but Merlin was already out in the hall. He shook his head; where did Gaius _think_ he was going?

There were more servants in the corridors than normal and they all seemed to be huddled together and whispering. Several people avoided Merlin's eye when he tried to smile at them and everyone stopped talking when he passed.

"Excuse me," he said, catching the arm of a kitchen maid whose name he'd never been able to find out. "What's going on?" He tried a winning smile, attempting to emulate one of Arthur's most charming ones. Apparently it didn't work because the girl bit her lip and ran away.

"What the hell?" Merlin muttered under his breath. He saw a familiar blur of grey up ahead and was just opening his mouth to repeat his question to Gwen when she flew at him, flinging her arms tight around his shoulders and sniffling into his neck.

Feeling flustered and confused, he patted awkwardly at her back. "Gwen?" he asked, hoping he sounded concerned rather than freaked out. "Gwen, what's wrong?"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because it just made her cry harder. Merlin had never understood girls.

"Okay," he said uncertainly, worried about making her cry again. "Well, I should get going. Arthur's going to want his breakfast, soon and-." He stopped, the hairs on his arms rising at the hoarse, broken sound she made.

"Oh Merlin," she said. She pulled back and stared at him out of her big, dark eyes that had somehow got bigger and darker while Merlin wasn't paying attention. Gwen's lower lip was wobbling and Merlin suddenly had a really bad feeling.

"I don't-." Merlin started to say. "I don't know what's going on." Panic gripped his belly. "Where's Arthur?"

Tears leaked out of Gwen's eyes, spilling down her cheeks. She bit her bottom lip and stared at him with the kind of sympathy that Merlin hadn't seen directed at him since. Since Will had died.

Merlin took off at a run for Arthur's chambers. He crashed through the door and for a moment was struck almost dizzy with relief at the sight of a figure curled under the blankets. Except, he realised, it wasn't Arthur.

Morgana was curled up on Arthur's bed, her face pressed into his pillow and Uther was sitting by the window, staring blankly down at the courtyard.

"No," Merlin said and both their heads snapped up toward him. Morgana's face was dry but Uther's wasn't. "No," Merlin repeated, shaking his head.

Morgana scrambled up from the bed. "Merlin," she said, just that, in this voice full of understanding and sympathy. She put her arms around his neck and pulled his head down onto her shoulder. She smelled sweet and smoky and like she'd been awake all night.

Almost as if he were in a dream, Merlin put his hands on her back, feeling them both shake.

There was absolutely no way that what Merlin was starting to suspect had happened had actually happened. It just wasn't possible. "I don't-," he said again, pulling back to stare at her helplessly. "I don't remember."

From somewhere in his memory, Merlin remembered Verdandi, what she'd said about losing a day. He felt cold all over.

Morgana frowned at him for a long minute then seemed to come to some kind of conclusion and slid her fingers into his hair, holding his head still with sharp nails in his scalp so he had to look her in the eye.

Merlin didn't care about the tiny pricks of pain; he was weirdly numb inside.

"It wasn't your fault. You did everything you could. It was just a stupid accident." Morgana told him, voice firm.

_What wasn't my fault?_ Merlin wanted to ask. _What happened to Arthur?_ But he couldn't; right now he didn't want to know.

"Arthur's dead?" he asked instead. She took an audible breath and nodded.

"Perhaps you should rest," Uther said abruptly and Merlin jumped, having forgotten he was in the room. "You seem to be suffering some kind of trauma."

"I'm fine," Merlin said automatically. Unlike Arthur, Uther normally insisted on the _sire_, but this time he said nothing about it.

"Goddamn it," Uther shouted, making Merlin jump. "My son is dead and you're babbling like an idiot."

"_Uther_," Morgana chided and Uther frowned at them both, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Excuse me," he said and swept from the room without another word.

Merlin had to sit down. The give of Arthur's mattress was familiar now, but normally Merlin had Arthur pushing or pulling him down onto it. Arthur. Arthur who was dead.

Morgana sat next to him, rubbing his arms and talking softly but he didn't listen. This felt like a nightmare. Arthur was dead. Arthur was dead because of something that happened yesterday that Merlin couldn't do anything about because Merlin wasn't _there_ yesterday. Because that was the day that God or fate or whoever controlled time had decided to take as payback.

"This isn't right," Merlin said to his folded hands. He turned his head, straightening his shoulders and meeting Morgana's eyes. "This isn't right," he repeated. "This isn't how things are supposed to be."

She nodded. She was paler than ever. "There was nothing we could do," she said and Merlin wondered if she'd had a vision, if she'd seen Arthur die when Merlin hadn't (had but didn't remember).

Merlin felt something hot and angry lick at his chest. "No," he said, pushing Morgana's hands away and standing up. "There has to be."

He heard Morgana call his name as he left the room but she didn't come after him and he didn't stop to hear her questions.

***

The lights burning in the Dragon's cave seemed dimmer somehow or maybe that was just Merlin's mood.

"Where are you?" Merlin shouted. There were only so many places the Dragon could hide and Merlin wasn't in the mood to be kept waiting. "Hello?"

"What do you want, young warlock?" The Dragon's disembodied voice seemed to be coming from all around and it took Merlin a minute to find him, curled on a ledge high above Merlin, one eye and the leathery spread of one wing the only things visible.

"I need," Merlin started to say then stopped. He didn't know what to ask for. He just knew he needed Arthur back. "Do you know what's happened?" he asked instead. "Has anyone told you?" Merlin hesitated, not sure if anyone else visited the Dragon.

"I know," the Dragon said. Merlin had never heard him sound so grave. Merlin tucked his hands into his sleeves and tried to ignore the shiver of dread running down his spine.

"Well?" Merlin asked. "What can I do?"

The Dragon shook his head. It had the alarming effect of sending small rocks flying every which way but Merlin found it hard to care, let alone duck.

Maybe it was Merlin's imagination, but he thought the Dragon looked sad, defeated maybe. "You made a deal with someone not of this time. I could not foresee that, nor can I condone it."

"Wait," Merlin said. "Are you blaming me? You can't blame me. You're the one who's all 'don't let Arthur find out about your magic' and all I did was stop that happening. This wasn't-." He sucked in a breath. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

The Dragon's tail swished into view then out again. "Together, you and Arthur were supposed to bring magic back to Camelot," he said softly. "Now it seems that is not to be."

Merlin balled his hands into fists, feeling his nails cut into palms. He'd never felt like this, this helpless and this determined to do something about it. "It _is_ possible," he said firmly. "I'm going to fix this."

He could feel the Dragon watching him until he was out of sight.

***

"What?" Gaius asked him, his eyes wide and worried. "Merlin, you're not serious."

Merlin nodded fast. He'd already explained once, tripping over his own words, but he was prepared to do it again and again until Gaius understood. "I'm serious, Gaius," he promised. "Trust me; I've never been this serious."

"Time travel?" Gaius shook his head.

"She said she had some influence over time," Merlin said, ignoring Gaius's doubts. "Do you know of anything with that kind of power?"

"No," Gaius said, but it was the elongated sort of _no_ that meant maybe. He stood up, pulling a book off the shelf and quickly flipping pages. "Merlin," he said, finger pressed to the top of one page. "What did you say this young lady was called?"

"Verdandi," Merlin told him, starting to spell it when Gaius didn't answer.

Gaius help up a hand. "I think you may have met a Norn."

"A what?" Merlin asked, standing up so he could read the book over Gaius's shoulder. Gaius hated that.

"See here." Gaius pointed to a particular line, reading it aloud as Merlin read along with him. "'Verdandi is one of a trio of Norns. They hold the thread of life in their hands and are responsible for deciding the fates of man.'"

"What?" Merlin asked. An image of Verdandi's bracelet flashed into his mind, the complicated interwoven threads of silk that she'd been so desperate to get back that she'd fought a three-headed, four-tailed monster for.

"She's a Fate," Gaius said. "She literally controls your destiny." His face went firm and serious. "Nothing that's happened can have been an accident, Merlin."

Merlin felt suddenly furious. It was a strangely wonderful feeling after all the numbness. "Are you saying she set me up?"

"Not exactly," a voice said from behind him and Merlin jumped, heart beating too fast as he turned around to see Verdandi standing behind him. She was glowing in a way that he was sure she hadn't before; she looked otherworldly and powerful.

"Who _are_ you?" Merlin demanded, aware that he was shouting but not really able to stop.

She shrugged, her smile dimming but not quite melting all the way off. "You know what I am, Merlin," she said with a nod to Gaius.

Merlin stalked forward. "Was this some kind of _test_?"

"Well, not at first," she said, sounding contrite but not contrite enough for Merlin.

"This was a _test_?" He couldn't get passed that. Arthur was dead as a _test_.

"I lost my bracelet," she said. "That was genuine. But when you and Arthur came to my aid, it was too good an opportunity to miss."

Fire lapped at his insides and between one blink and the next, Verdandi was flying backwards across the room, slamming into the wall and books falling around her.

"Merlin," Gaius snapped but Merlin didn't listen.

"Woah," Verdandi said, stumbling to her feet. "That's an awful lot of power you've got there."

"I'm just getting started," Merlin said and he wasn't sure if he meant it, if he could really do all the things to this girl that he was suddenly imagining, all the ways he could punish her for taking Arthur. He thought he would do anything to have Arthur back again.

She rubbed her shoulder, holding her arm awkwardly. Merlin felt sick and satisfied all at once that he'd hurt her. Then he just felt sick.

"Merlin," she said, strangely gentle. "You're going to be sorcerer to the greatest king Camelot will ever see. We had to know you knew what you were fighting for."

Merlin heard her first sentence but couldn't quite take it in. "I am?" he asked then interrupted himself. That wasn't the point. "Do you believe that I do? That I know what I'm fighting for."

She smiled softly. Her hand dropped down from her shoulder and he wondered if that had been another bluff, if he really had been able to hurt someone as powerful as she must be. "Tell me what Arthur means to you, Merlin," she said.

Merlin had a million possible answers ready. But he stopped, suddenly seeing clearly. He thought of the frustration and fun of arguing with Arthur, the exhilaration of kissing him and the peace of sleeping beside him. He thought about how it felt to wake one morning and find that Arthur was gone.

Merlin opened his mouth and said, "Everything."

The smile he got was blinding, literally, reminiscent of the bright flash of light that had sent him back in time the first time.

"Perfect," Verdandi said and the light flared brighter.

***

Merlin found himself on a horse.

The sun was shining, almost blinding him and the horse smelt really, really bad. But Merlin didn't pay attention to any of that. Arthur was riding in front of him.

Merlin brought a hand up to his eyes, rubbing them, wanting to make sure this wasn't some cruel trick of the light, but no. There was Arthur, Arthur was there; Arthur was alive.

All the breath went out of Merlin's body. "Arthur," he said, before he could stop himself.

Arthur turned, smiling an easy, questioning smile. He was unarguably alive and whole, his cheeks and eyes bright from the ride.

"Nothing," Merlin said, which got him a quizzical look and an eyeroll before Arthur turned back to face front.

Merlin had to close his eyes for a minute in relief. "Are we there yet?" he made himself call out. He had no idea where they were going. He didn't care.

Arthur's laugh was carefree. "Have some patience," he called back.

Merlin opened his mouth to retort something, he didn't know what. He was glad Arthur couldn't see his face; Merlin didn't like to think what kind of relief and wonder might be written there.

Merlin glanced down at the ground, focusing on the path they were taking while he fought to make his expression more neutral. Which was the only reason that he saw the snake.

He watched it swish through the grass by Arthur's horse's hoof, saw the branch above Arthur's head that he would hit if his horse reared up from a bite and realised what must have happened last time, what had killed Arthur. Morgana had been right; what a stupid accident.

Merlin hissed out a sharp command and the snake spun once in a confused circle before slithering fast in the opposite direction. Arthur rode out from under the canopy of the oak tree, uninjured.

Merlin wasn't sure his heart could take much more of this.

"Did you say something?" Arthur called back over his shoulder.

Merlin's eyes were burning; his heart was beating too fast. He'd saved Arthur; that had to be the last of it; this had to be over. "No," he said then, "Yes. Can we stop?"

Arthur pulled his horse to a halt and turned to face Merlin when Merlin drew up beside him. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No," Merlin said, "Nothing." He reached across to Arthur, wrapping his hand around the back of Arthur's neck, thumb stretched to feel his pulse.

Arthur's eyes darted left and right while he licked his lips. "Here?" he asked.

Merlin hadn't even been thinking about kissing, he'd just wanted to touch. _Now_ he was thinking about kissing. "Yes," he said and kissed Arthur hard. Arthur exhaled into Merlin's mouth and Merlin tasted fresh air on his breath.

Merlin definitely knew what he was fighting for.

/End


End file.
